Viewing entries tagged
relationship

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One of My Favs! India.Arie: The Sistah is Fierce!

You know I love this chick, so it's really no surprise that I was happy dancing the moment I saw a tweet from this songbird debuting her new single, "Cocoa Butter" from her forthcoming album. India is one of the baddest in the game. Lyrically and in every way that matters, she, Jill Scott and Rachelle Ferrell do it for me.

You were missed lady. You were missed.

Press play. Listen, bop, dance, sing, sway and feel. Hit replay and do it all again.

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Judge. Jury. Verdict.

  • Did you see her last night? I can't believe she allowed herself to be filmed wearing that?
  • You got a mirror? I suggest you look in it, because clearly you did not have an opportunity this morning.
  • Wait? Tell me she isn’t wearing white after Labor Day? Who told her that was acceptable?
  • She lip-synched the National Anthem? And with all that pageantry. What the hell? Chile, puh-leez! She needs to go sit down with that foolishness.
  • She should just slap a perm on that crazy mess of hair! Walking out the house looking like that. It's embarrassing.
  • You know she should just go on and BC. Remove all that chemically processed hair and embrace her natural beauty.

guilty

The verdict has come in. The gavel has come down.

We are GUILTY.

What’s sad? It doesn’t matter if we don’t know the details, or perhaps we have a few or we know the entire story, we (me, myself and you) render ourselves judge, jury and issue a scathing verdict, broadcasting worldwide via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and some other social media site sharing our judgment on the matter. Sometimes it's regarding a primetime reality show and sometimes it's our relationships with each other.

In Los Angeles and New York, media moguls are reclining around the table in a boardroom brainstorming possibilities for the upcoming spring and fall season television line-up, hoping to bring to market the next big reality show. Armed with data reflecting the viewing habits of certain demographics they know that cattiness and bitch fests are slam dunks. Their bottom line is increased because cattiness sells and bitchiness sends the ratings into the stratosphere. Female viewers are more interested in watching women gouge out another woman’s eyes, tug hair, kick arse or speak words that incite rage, fury and are blatantly disrespectful.

With all of our daily chatter, I do believe we make their jobs easier. We provide them with the narrative and from this they storyboard, focus group and package to the masses. Do we object? Or do we subject ourselves to hours of watching? What's worse? When the show is over, we cut a side-eye at a sister on the street and wonder what her objective could be.

What was once man’s ultimate fantasy has become our own: Women wrestling in mud, slipping and sliding all over the place in bikinis and the like. When did that become something we actually enjoyed? The catfights? The name calling? The neck rolls? The eye rolls? The ridiculousness of it all?

Now I know I probably stand alone on this limb — with a few million women — but watching that is not my idea of entertainment. Regardless of race, I do not want to watch my sisters treat each other in disrespectful ways. Granted, reality dictates there will almost always be someone who aggravates us and steps on our last good nerve, but why broadcast the fallout in such grandeur. What's the objective? To hurt? Or perhaps laugh at someone's pain?

You want more responsible programming? We have to be responsible consumers. I still believe in the power of the people. Television programs require viewers. These programs require financial backing from advertisers. Advertisers remain vested based on numbers. With dwindling numbers, programs are cancelled. It has been proven throughout history, when there is enough of an outcry or demand for change of any kind, the most beautiful thing imaginable occurs: revolution.

Once upon a time, we moved mountains, changed laws, redefined a people and that's only in this nation. Don't tell me it cannot be done. The world over we've seen proof that mountains of impossibilities are scaled by perseverance and determination of a united people.

I don’t judge you, my sister. Here’s my hand. I stand with and walk along side you because you are a reflection of me.

The revolution must be televised! Let’s script it.

* Originally posted on BlackHairKitchen.com March 12, 2013 *

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Hello Gorgeous!

When you recognize and acknowledge beauty, worth, and/or value in yourself, you’re more prone to notice these attributes in others. I’m not talking about cultivating narcissistic and haughty tendencies. I’m talking about recognizing and cultivating the good within you. Whatever you need, realize you have it within. Tap in to it, acknowledge it and give it to yourself daily. Be it a kind word or a wink in a window as you pass by or a smile because you woke up this morning and was greeted with another day, another opportunity. Allow this positive energy room to blossom, grow and affect those in and around your sphere. You have the power to influence by example. We all do.

Hey beautiful! How are you today?

Don’t turn around. I’m talking to you! Yes, you … in the mirror.

All to often we seek validation, compliments, adoring looks and words of praise from spouses, peers, colleagues, friends, family members.... I can go on, but you get the general idea. We seek it from others. In many ways, sometimes daily, imploring them to acknowledge how fabulous, grand, gifted or talented we are. We can easily fall into the pit of “I do and you tell me” mode, where we’re looking for some thing, some one or some word to plug the hole in our soul and gently stroke and soothe our ego. We do great things and want others to tell us how great we are. We embody the very definition of fierce and want others to acknowledge our fierceness. Why is that?

mirror

Love of others, starts with love of self. I cannot give what I’m an unable to give myself. It has even been said, we can’t give beyond what we know. While that is true, here’s another truth: The good news is every single day we are above ground, sentient and willing, we can grow beyond where we currently are. It is your choice.

Mirror, mirror on the wall—stop. There really is no need to continue. Look in the mirror. Love what you see. Give it to yourself and repeat after me: I am.

* Originally posted on BlackHairKitchen on on February 13, 2013 *

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Family

family

I'm exhausted down to my bones and the fine hairs on my toes. Why come that sounds like a quote lifted from a Dr. Seuss book? Hmmm. Regardless of how it sounds, it is true. The reason: Just spent the weekend with family. Three days and two nights … kay, something's wrong. That definitely sounds too much like the beginning of an advertisement for a family cruise or mini-vacay to Disney World.

Anyhoo, let me continue …

The weekend started with a one-year memorial for a beloved daughter, sister, aunt, godmother, colleague and friend to many. We celebrated her life and remembered the countless ways she impacted those around her. At the memorial, we saw family we hadn't seen in years. Memories that seemed like yesterday came flooding back. We partied, danced, laughed and, of course, cried. In the wee hours of Saturday morning, a group of us journeyed to a place she once called home and filled every crevice with warmth, laughter and love.

When I stop and reflect on various parts of my life, the five women I spent the weekend with have been there for just about all of my greatest joys and deepest pain. Seems like we experienced the joys of heaven and the pits of hell together. These women were my rock and my strength during the toughest incident I've ever had to deal with on this side of existence. Nuff about that …

There was Sunday morning chuuch in the kitchen. Yes, I said chuuch … in the kitchen. Auntie V is a powerful vessel. Later, the son and nieces directed and starred in our very own Harlem Shake video, which Nick has to splice and edit. Perhaps I'll be brave enough to post. We shall see. In those few days, there was so much we did, but I won't bore you with the details. When it was time to head home, gotta be honest, it was a painful experience. Thankfully, we'll be meeting up in ATL in a few days to celebrate the 40th birthday of one of our precious angels.

What I love about us:

No matter the distance or the time that has lapsed, when we are physically together we love like you won't believe. We love hard and we wouldn't want any other way!

  Take some time today and tell a family member how much they mean to you!

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Writing Confessions

So the characters are back, occupying my sleeping and waking hours.

As Chase and Tia's story continues in this third book, I find that I cannot write or type fast enough to get every word down before they advance the scene or jump to another. Conversations, dealings, happenings and conscious streams of thoughts are taking place almost simultaneously. There is so much going on; so much they're addressing and I'm the one left with the task of making sense of it all. Writing the story as it unfolds; capturing it in a manner that you, the reader, can recreate in your mind. Daunting, really, but oh, so very worth it.

My process of writing is one of isolation. Shutting myself off from people and distractions allows me clear access into the story as it unfolds in my third eye. Therefore, I retreat, listen and watch either in my home office or bedroom where I'll type or sit visually capturing the mental images of the scene(s) as they play out.

There is no outline I write from. There is no point I consciously decide to include. The characters drive the story. They always have and they always will. The insertion of the actual events that have happened during the chunk of time in which the story takes place is another element I must keep track of. That alone is the single thing I admit to making a conscious effort to include, especially if I'm guided to believe it bears some relevance to the scene or story in general. Next are conscious streams of thoughts, or words of wisdom. I call them WoWs. Those, for me, are among the best. Well ... that and watching how Chase and Tia and their host of family and friends interact. That's the entire story, really. What am I saying? I love it all.

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Meet the Ladies

The Harlem Holiday Doll Show was this weekend at LeRoy Neiman Art Center and as you read in a few Facebook updates or news posted on this site or by virtue of knowing me, I have developed a healthy obsession for these dolls. Tanya Montegut, creator of these precious, unique and splendid pieces, is the bomb diggity.

So as promised, I attended the event and did so with every appendage of limbs crossed in hopes of rounding out the females of the Experience Life from a Different Perspective series with a Megan and Stephanie acquisition. Well, guess what? I have indeed found my chicas! Meet the ladies in all of their fabulosity (don't give me the stank side-eye; look it up, according to Webster it truly is a word):

The-Ladies

Now in all honestly, I'm not sure if I'm done acquiring all of the women. There are still a few sisters who require representation and who knows what individuals will pop up in future novels. I certainly don't; we shall see.

Right now I'm all about acquiring the mens. So who's up first? Chase, of course. Then Derrick, then Peter, then David....

Interested in your own DollsbyMonTQ contact Tanya. The holidays are right around the corner ... think books and dolls!

Toodles!

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Recap - Circle of Sisters 2012

As an author and a first-time vendor at this event, I must say I enjoyed myself immensely. One thing I enjoy slightly more than writing is conversing with lovers of literature and like-minded individuals about the things that matter most to them. Circle of Sisters at Jacob Javits provided that platform, allowing for this exchange of ideas and beliefs. So much so that at the end of the first day of this two-day event, my voice sounded much like sandpaper — coarse and gritty. Surely tea and a few hours of sleep would remedy this, right? Absolutely not. With one more day of this level of talking ahead of me, I was certain any and everything I uttered would be unintelligible and the sisters would give me the side-eye as I tried to answer their questions. I managed with the help of my incredible team: my daughter, Nia and my dear sisterfriends Nicole and Stephanie. On the first day, the husband and son also came out to lend their support. Love them! Of note, no matter how many events I attend, Tia Maddison and the cover photography of It's Simple are of primary interest. At Circle of Sisters this was no different. Not only was Tia her fabulous self, but this time she was rocking her one-of-a-kind Moetleh bag thanks to booth mate and bag creator, Winnie Burch.

CoS3

"Are you an interior designer?" I can't tell you how many times women and men thought It's Simple was about interior design or that I, myself, was an interior designer because, as they shared, the cover art was so "stunning", "beautiful" and "elegant." Incorporate the table presentation and the 5' x 8' banner, one could easily understand how that assumption could be made. However, after sharing that the cover art was a welcome into the lives of Chase and Tia and a taste of what's possible in their own homes as well as relationships, the women readily agreed that we need to associate positive self portrayal and beauty of our surroundings in the pages of literature and other forms of media when it comes to people of color. Each time I heard women or men, regardless of race, affirm this, I was refreshed.

The ensuing conversations were insightful, encouraging and filled with personal examples of the beauty in their lives. Some boasted years of happy married life; others years of struggle and therapy before the marriage became something each respected, wanted and finally cherished. I loved listening to others share their experiences and how those experiences shaped how they handled subsequent relationships. One such lively discussion took place minutes before the doors opened to the public on Sunday with vendors, male and female, passionately sharing their views on what each partner should bring to the onset of the relationship and what was needed to maintain it.

For every three positive exchanges, there was one negative. Belief in the possibility of better did not exist because their experience(s) had been filled with heartache, betrayal and pain. Hope for them wasn't an option nor a viable choice. Those exchanges saddened me, yet still I could not help but want more for them ... for us. But is it possible to experience better if you don't believe better is available? How can individuals exist without hope or a belief in something better? The reality and hard truth is, many live in that realm of disbelief and hopelessness. That is their universe and the orbiting stars, moons and planets align daily sending and sharing the same sentiment to its human creator. My reality is to write for both the believer and non-believer in hopes that some day, one day, some thing will awaken a seed of newness in their spirits and they will shift their outlook to reach for more.

Saturday and Sunday were filled with many of those exchanges, stories, dancing, lots of laughter and a whole lot of love and fun with participating vendors and those in attendance. The team even managed to take in the sights on the convention floor and the daughter, accompanied by her Auntie Nicole, met and posed with Nicole Ari Parker and Olympic swim team silver medalists. Lucky her.

Congratulations to the winners! Tina Billie and Charmaine Parker are the winners of the It's Simple Saturday and Sunday raffles. The lovely centerpieces featuring the sequel to It's Simple, Never Said It Was Easy now belongs to them. Enjoy!

As of this evening, Sunday, October 14th, my voice is still not a 100%. Yet in spite of this unfortunate occurrence, I look forward to attending Circle of Sisters 2013. Hope to see you there!

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Martha's Vineyard

Well, we're back from our Martha's Vineyard vacation. Love that place! We managed to squeeze so much activities and eats into six fun-filled, yet bone exhausting days. Would you believe me if I told you I even managed three before-the-break-of-dawn workouts all while cussing out my sister-in-law, Nicole (Jillian Michaels in-training) for the torment she inflicted, pushing me past the point of pain? It was sheer torture. Although the highlights of the vacation were many, one exceeded all others — I'm sure you'll think me crazy in a few. The highlight of my 2012 Vineyard vacay was not the private BET party nor rubbing shoulders or hobnobbing with notable personalities and celebrities, nor attending Grand Illumination nor Fireworks night, nor vibing with Wynton Marsalis as he smote the Tabernacle with jazz worthy of Count Basie's Orchestra and totally reminiscent of the Bleek Gilliam Quintet jammin' in Mo'Better Blues. The highlight was stumbling upon Murdick's Fudge. I spent the better part of many days wondering why I hadn't noticed this shop last year, thinking perhaps my husband successfully managed to turn my head in the opposite direction, distracting me with something else each time we passed the decadent shop. However, him was not so successful this time around. Hee hee!

*Pause for Confessions of an Addict* You have not lived until you've tasted Murdick's Fudge. Upon my word, I declare it to be the best damn thing around. On par with air and water, so it would be safe to assume that I practically lived in that shop for five days, became best friends with the staff and dropped oodles of cash on this ridiculously good soul satisfying sustenance. Yes, I said soul satisfying. And yes, I referred to it as sustenance. Shameful, I know. I understand my addiction and am fully aware that I might require some help in overcoming it in the far future, thank you very much. Anyhoo, much love to Laverne, Tanya, Omar, Mark and Shaddy for the love and feeding my addiction. *End of confession and shameless plug*

POTUS

Missing from MV this year was the energy and presence of the First Family and all who accompany them: Secret Service and the Press Corps. Cute side note: After the President visited a Bunch of Grapes Bookstore last year (photograph taken by Peter Richardson outside the bookstore), the establishment needed a larger location to accommodate the traffic the POTUS and his daughters drummed up (although I'm told expansion was in the works for some time prior to POTUS's visit, I've drawn my own conclusions *smiles*). So just one year later, Bunch of Grapes Bookstore crossed the street, branched out and now boasts more square footage to accommodate lovers of written words, the authors who share them, and even Presidents who purchase them.

A Pictorial Companion For those of you interested in seeing Martha's Vineyard from Chase and Tia's perspective, here's a little something especially for you: a pictorial companion to a portion of Never Said It Was Easy. I've compiled a number of photographs for you to enjoy. After reading the second novel, I'm sure you'll get quite the chuckle out of a few pictures.

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Conversations: Can We Talk on Kallaloo Radio

What my series, Experience Life from a Different Perspective, endeavors to do in books, Conversations: Can We Talk with Trina, Maggie and Norina does on the radio every Monday evening from 8pm - 9pm. The conversations are edifying, inspiring and oh, yes, lots of fun. Tune in and get connected with sisters the globe over. The dialogue has begun.

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Michelle Richardson on Good Morning Caribbean with LT Goodman

This Saturday, August 4, 2012, Michelle Richardson will be LT Goodman's special guest on Good Morning Caribbean-Weekend Edition (10:00 a.m. - 12 p.m.) at 11:00 a.m. Tune in and join us. It's sure to be a fun and insightful interview!

UPDATE

Enjoyed my time with LT Goodman this morning on Kallaloo Radio. The hour was an enjoyable one, full of laughter, insight and discussion. Thank you for offering a place where authors and others can share a bit of themselves with your listeners. It was truly my pleasure.

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It's Simple: Great Day in Harlem

WBLS hosted a Great Day in Harlem and we were there to support the community, meet people and talk about my series: Experience Life from a Different Perspective, of which It's Simple and Never Said It Was Easy are the first and second novels, respectively. For the most part, the weather was cooperative. There was only a passing thunderstorm that lasted all of ten minutes, if that long. Our children walked the streets, ate delicious food, purchased African art and jewelry, watched the fashion show, listened to soulful tunes from a vendor who digitized the vinyl classics and were finally serenaded by Freddie Jackson under the stars. It was another great Saturday in Harlem and my husband and I fondly expressed to our children, during our drive home, how much we miss the city. Living out in the suburbs, at times, you can feel disconnected.

Folks tend to run from the city once Friday rolls around to enjoy the beach or tranquility of the Hamptons; we seem to run to the city. When you no longer live among the noise that once lulled you to sleep as a youngster, you find yourself missing it.

Photos: Radiant Amar Photography

Dondré (my son in the background)

Tia Maddison (Dolls by MonTQ)

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Michelle Richardson featured in Harlem World Magazine

You really have to love surprises. Do you know the kind I'm talking about? No? Well, it's the kind where the word oblivious best suits you; the kind where your face is truly twisted in confusion before you actually realize what just happened. I attended the Harlem Book Fair on Saturday, July 21 with my crew and daughter and we had an absolute blast chatting with readers and authors before taking ourselves over to Spoonbread Too to dine on fine authentic Southern cuisine. After all, we deserved it. We worked hard and our tired feet sung a similar tune, but I digress. Food does that to me.

Anyhoo, here's the write-up I was greeted with this morning. Thank you Eartha Watts-Hicks.

Harlem World Magazine

Michelle Richardson and her daughter, Nia

Nia and MR

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It's Simple Tote

This adorable tote is a little token of appreciation for those who purchase a softcover or ebook copy of It's Simple at the Harlem Book Fair. The tote easily accommodates It's Simple and Never Said It Was Easy and a few other items. Durable and cute. Great to rock at the beach or however you prefer.

Like what you see? Drop us a note and let us know.

Check back often for more news and events featuring Michelle Richardson.

Blessings!

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